“Hey Mister, why you walk so funny?”
This broke my concentrated stumbling
½ a block til I could drop
& count the hours til morning
I’ve often heard things in my head
that came from out of nowhere
Again “Hey, why you walk so funny?”
This voice was sounding clear
I raised my head, & pivoted, shakily
My eyes matched a tiny face to the muffled voice
The face was young, so young it shone
I faced innocent youth & could only fumble to conceal
The flask sticking from my worn coat jacket
The eyes, that were her face
Were waiting on an answer
I coughed up years, from rusted pipes
& rubbed my beard- in pretend thought
I was ripe to disappoint her
& I hoped I wouldn’t scare her
Before I said a single word
She moved to her next question
It’s one that I’ll take to my grave
“Why you smell like my daddy, when he hits me?”
I wondered if I was capable of tears
Now I knew I wasn’t
I’d cried myself dry, through the years
& my heart was so used to aching
But this pain cut through any known
& I reminded her of it
I was it
½ a block to go & I was facing
The child I’d always feared – could be my own
I searched my rotted soul for a reply
She was waiting still . . . . . .
But she had moved a few steps back
I said “Honey, don’t be afraid of me
I walk this way because I don’t see
The path as well as you do
I’ve been stepping up hills & against winds
For so long & I’m dizzy. . . . . most days
She looked at me – as children do
& seemed a bit confused
Not knowing what to do
& not able to run, I went on . . .
“ I think the smell comes from being different
Your dad & I don’t have the special gift you do
He’s only angry with himself
You should treasure your gift
Because you are very special”
I hoped I made a difference
I hoped I eased her mind
I tottered to find balance
To keep her safe, from harm
She turned her head,
Her eyes lit up
She’d seen a butterfly
& she was off, to follow it
& I began to cry
½ a block to go is all
Though it would seem 10 miles
I put my head down and walked on,
in steps, just like a child.
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