Tunnel Gravy

Funnel mud in my mouth

tunnel gravy

I've got a bunker by the beach

come and bathe me.

I've got some teeth

and a throat

dont forsake me.

I've got some treats

in my coat

dont mistake me .....

you see, it really doesn't matter much at all

the way I twitch, or gasp for air, or somersault

it's all shivers & dried up waterfalls

I'm just a monkey

licking flies off of the wall ....

E.C.B.

While you're in your cherry picker

looking for the Virgin Mary

I'll be rubber gloved and groggy .....

I'm embalming Chuck Berry.

While you're knockered on your knuckles

bleeding dogs, outside your Teepee

I'll be bleary eyed and foggy......

I'm embalming Chuck Berry

It's relaxing, it's immediate and true

It's like needlepoint fondue

While you're burning your library

and your legs are mine to chew

I'll be naked , in the alley.

I'm embalming Chuck Berry.

Sweatflops Fables

Jesus had a hot dog cart

he sold foot longs by the river

No shoes , no shirt , no problem

just kneel and he delivered.

The Devil had a taco stand

downstream, across the river

No rules, no church , no pablum

just eat and drink forever.

The ferryman , he hatched a plan

to double all his earnings

he'd charge roundtrip

to go to Hell

all possessions

to buy you're future.

So he got fat ... up on his raft

money from monks & thieves

he quickly sank

between the banks

& all the crossings ceased.

So now your fate depends upon

which side you are born onto

do you dab relish from your blouse

or reek of guacamole?

Gizzy

Gizzy's on guard tonight -

No laughter took the tears to task

Worn pocket holds an empty flask

& I am under pheasant glass

alone .. with my mistakes.

I ate Italian ices

til my tongue

turned jelly bean

and shuffled all my vices

til there was no in-between

but it's alright cuz

Gizzy's on guard tonight

There is trouble in the henhouse

the Cock-a-doodle doo'ed

a churchmouse

but I am not alarmed

the sermon will go on.

There's something heavy on my neck

a Raven with a tourniquet

but I will not be harmed

this vermin will squirm on

but it's alright cuz

Gizzy's on guard tonight.


Gizzy's on guard ..............

Fiddler's Bitch

Been a while - since I tasted your rank kiss

you are ............... a fiddler's bitch.

Been a while - since you raided my wish list

you are ................ a drunkards filth.

& I miss your morning breath

& the way you bow your head

when the nonsense in your eyes has turned to sorrow.

yeah, it's been a while

since you made your great escape

& I collapsed at the gate

all crumpled, all dead weight

but I wont wallow

because

you were a fiddler's bitch

a trench mouthed derelict

you were ..... a death bed ache

a vile choking paste

but I loved you ...........fiddler's bitch.

Cowlick

From cowlick to creases

I've never met Jesus

but I've run my hands

through long hair ..

thick with thorns

From fruit juice to bourbon

I've never been certain

but I'll swear to God

that my fingers brushed horns.

Does that make my hymn book a fairytale?

Does that make your Gospel the truth?

Does that make my beer and my cigarettes,

worthy of serving to you ?

Lord tell me who to confess to...

is it you? or your bloodied bandana?

Lord tell me how to address you....

is it sire , or liar , or Father ?

From cradle to wheelchair

I never did much care

but I'll bet my faith

that you're sorry you're you.

From cowlick to creases

I've never met Jesus

But I hope to God

that someday

he'll be true.

The Original Chuck D.

They say they've seen a silhouette figure

crying tears of ink by the river

crouched down at the lip like a tiger

as the storied fog rolls by ...

They've seen him at the blacking house

where kids go in , some don't come out

He scribbles madly

with a shaky hand ..

still speckled from

the tar pot stains

that bleach won't wash away

and believe him

he has tried to every day.

He paces outside the debtor's prison

where his father went

one sad Thanksgiving

He buries his head

that can't stop thinking

about how to make a change

He has to write it down

or he'll go insane.

He sits outside the orphanage

watching ornate carriages

carry the real criminals

to Sunday supper feasts.

He's got to make them feel ..

the people have to see

injustices revealed.

He's got to hope they read

the storied fog.

Texas Toast

I bought a cheaply made in China

weekend cowboy hat

I wore it ot in Austin

doin' the fire ant dance

guess I got a feel for Texas

biting through my pants

and now it's in my blood.

There's a lone star

up in the sky

and I don't feel all alone

There's a lone star

up in the sky

makes me feel right at home.

been in San Antone

on St. Patty's Day

when they dye the river green

there's no fish anyway

and when I got pushed in

it was all ok

I needed to get baptized anyway...

dripping Texas to the bone

There's a lone star

up in the sky

and I don't feel all alone

There's a lone star

up in the sky

and I feel right at home.

Morbid Folly

I sat her precious sailor

on my soiled Miss's lap

he asked me for permission

she asked me for a match

I went on playing cribbage

like I knew no other task

she asked me for a cigarette

she begged me for a chance

I put on my brass knuckles

and I rolled the dice in hand

I moved my peg around the board

he rubbed against her pants.

he climbed up on her

best he could

with his feet

cuffed to her chair.

She took his weight

upon her waist

like a frightened

Nightingale.

I knew my next roll was my last

snake eyes stared up

and through me.

I shot my pistol

in my mouth

and left them

to the night.

Stumblefucker

I brought some chicken flavored crackers

and some dollar store bean dip

I left my duct taped um..ber..ella

underneath your Phd

You see I really don't belong here

but I just needed to see

If your satin sheets would heal me

when I slept with Bourgeoisie

I like martinis , extra dirty

like my women the same way

I'd like to die like Ras..p..utin

killed a thousand different ways

I get Rumpelstiltskin tired

but I slog on anyway

use the same old carrot peeler

to shave my face each day

I don't judge your nipple stitches

plastic surgery pedigree

I'd just rather plod and plunder

where the real estate is real

I've got lice that love to ride me

I've got smirks ...

I've never seen

I've got jagged words inside me

that I'm dying to upheave.

yes, I'm dying to unleash ....

 .

Nightmare

When I clock out              
I get sick
buckled over
lunatic

the cab driver
knows the drill
get me home
do it quick

all weekend
I'm in a ball
sweat and shiver
sweat some more

Monday morning
I feel fine
when I clock in
it's divine

When I clock out              
I get sick
buckled over
lunatic

the cab driver
knows the drill
get me home
do it quick

all weekend
I'm in a ball
sweat and shiver
sweat some more

Monday morning
I feel fine
when I clock in
it's divine

When I clock out              
I get sick
buckled over
lunatic

the cab driver
knows the drill
get me home
do it quick

all weekend
I'm in a ball
sweat and shiver
sweat some more

Monday morning
I feel fine
when I clock in
it's divine

..........

Moment of Silence

Marcel Marceau died last night

he was pretend fishing

when he felt a bite

then he struggled

against the wind

like being 

pulled by a kite

then his fingers 

traced his heart

as he wriggled his mouth

like he wanted to say something

but nothing could come out

so, he spoke no final words

his own lips, too long locked

he just laid still with his palms up

like a man in a box.

Bo Diddley

I saw Bo Diddley play music

on a tennis court\

It was at a Peabody Hotel

where the ducks walk out ...

every morning,every evening ...

all the tourists clap ..

and I'm sorry that Bo Diddley

had to follow that.

Tragedy

Romeo kissed Juliet

Her body came, her body wept

It’s hard to give a shit for her

She spewed out spite & vinegar

& I know nothing of her pain

Spread eagle on a concrete slab of blame

Don’t care who she’s gonna hate

Romeo, or the poison that she ate

Could have been a bite of fatal flesh

Could be lost in my heartache

Could have been a reason to applaud

Might have been a grave mistake

I believe in holy fantasy

I believe in tempting fate

I can only laugh at tragedy

I can only sing at wakes

& I know nothing of her pain

It crept within my skin

I can cream on her remains

Shaking with embarrassment

            Over time I spent within her

            Over days, I longed to leave . . . . .

Elephant Man's Lament

The flying squirrel of Icarus

Took to the sky, to find a kiss

The blue skies would better understand

Of what he was denied on land

            The shark, who was both White and Great

            Took to the beach, to find a mate

            The ocean depths had left him dry

            This ocean only hid his cries

                        The mighty hawk, who soared towards light

                        Clipped his wings and walked upright

                        He’d given up on finding one

                        Who’d  join his journey towards the sun

The mortal man, who had so much

He longed to share a lovers touch

And when this love could not be found

He rested, waiting . .  . . . . underground

Stoop Down

I could be a secret, whose expression won’t see light

Or I could wear my fears, on the sleeves of those who might

Like to stoop down

Like to fade into the night

Tend to break down

Tend to reach for lower heights

I could be  a liar, if I cared enough to try

I‘d embrace desire, if it’d make the days go by

Like they used to

Like they did before I learned

If you choose to

You can blaze, but not be burned

& all these things I could’ve been

But wouldn’t be . . . . . for you

Some days I feel that I could charm the glow from fireflies

Other days I worry, I’ll be blinded by their flashing lights

I like to stoop down

Hope to blend into the night

When I break down

I break down, without a fight

If I could be a thousand miles away from yesterday

I’d leave my baggage far  behind, & throw my past away

If I could turn a million heads, I’d only turn my own

& it will see, what I believe- a back without a bone

I love to stoop down

Try to make peace with the night

When I feel down

Then I know, I’ll be alright

Still Digging

Have another sneer, on your way out

I’ll take another beer & perfect my favorite pout

It’s the one that tries to tell the world

My insides have been turned out

& I am lost again

& groping for a poison pen . . . .

Faces blend in a street parade

Where cardboard people make believe

Their mouths are always moving, yet they don’t know how to talk

& sightless wizards, lead the way, on dragging feet of chalk

They mark a path to follow, for journeys to embark

As seeing-eye dogs, chasing cats, guide them from the dark

& I refuse to mourn, for what is evident

The waste of life these mindless marchers spent

Instead I dig a hole, with trembling, bloodied hands

Instead I upheave soil, from broken-promise land

All to please a woman, & her one demand

That I will keep on digging, until I understand

Spitoon

I want to live in a dome home

big ant farm walls

to separate rooms

no furniture

except a barstool

and a spitoon

to catch my tears.

I want an underground playground

Watership Down

bunnies and hell hounds

a place to lay my head

way down

and a spitoon

to catch my tears.

I want a shack in the boonies

no Meth labs or alimony

just dust and inbreds

around me

and a spitoon

to catch my tears.

I want a cave in Mexico

where I will watch

my toenails grow

agave & a sombrero

and a spitoon

to catch my tears

Scooter-Hair Girl

through the tip jar
where my head lies
I can see with bloodshot
pie eyes
Jagger lips
and teeth
like riptides..
that could rip
or reel me  in.
and...

that skin
that skin
that skin

that only God
could slip on sin.
golden brown
and cast on bones
that roll their own..
voodoo spell

I used to know her well
but that birds flown.
to the southernmost
point in the USA

where stray cats
run faster than
hurricanes
and fig leafs
drop , like guillotines
each time the
sun goes down

that face
that face
that face

that only God
could grace upon
a swan
who wants
no one
to paddle with.

the scooter hair
is just a crowning
flair

the smile,the eyes
the indifferent stare
is what makes
me raise my head
off of the bar
take the tips
stuffed into the jar
run down the street
scooter in sight

I want
to buy a drink
for her.... 

tonight

that smile
that smile
that smile

makes things just right.
scooter-hair girl
i hope you are alright
scooter- hair girl
I'll catch up
to you
some
night.

Saturday's Sleep

I left Saturday's sleep

all alone on my nightstand,

between pictures of you,

my nightcap, & demons.

I'd like to open the ceiling....

& gut

the smoke

from my ghosts.

Pew

moth bugglin' over the open casket

squirmin' swatters want to get on up & at it

but it's a dismal hymnal

stay in the pew

kinda day....this way

moth's gonna settle in and stay ,stay, stay...



spider crawlin' into the open casket

squirmin' tissue crunchers want to get up at it

but it's an organ number numb'er

stay in the pew

kinda day .....today

spiders  gonna stay and web,web,web away ....


horsefly buzzin' over the open casket

squirmin' sermon squatters want to get up at it

but it's monotoner droner

stay in the pew

kinda day ... all day

flies gonna land and bite,bite,bite away


Mother cryin' over an open casket

squirmin' sons & daughters want to get up at it

but it's a love of sitting down

that won't allow it.

we will all get up

when the taxi driver honks

his horn.

we are stay in pew people

from the day that we were born

Once Kissed

I felt the taste of jasmine on your lips

I felt the sway of lovers , in your hips

I felt I knew you yesterday, though we had never met

I felt I haven’t tasted of , what I will taste of yet

I know the coil of anguish in ones eyes

I know your smile, reaches to your thighs

I want to kiss the starting point & end between the finish

I know until these wants are met, your lure will not diminish

I wish that I could touch your face, & it would touch your heart

I wish that I could make your bed, & then tear it apart

I’m jealous of the Sandman, who guards your sleep with lust-filled eyes

I’m murderous with hatred, towards your one-night valentines

I close my eyes and sense you are

Surrendering your will

I take this chance, to steal romance

Though it is never real . . . .

& I felt I tasted jasmine on your lips

I felt my soul explode beneath your hips

I often think of what I truly missed

A vision, unaware, that we once kissed

Hardwood

• If I wake to find my face
• pressed against hard wood
  won't you offer me,
  coffee and kind words
  coffee and kind words
  
  If I find myself
  asleep in a field of pine woods
  won't you offer me
  balance and warm clothes
  balance and warm clothes
  
  I have drifted off the course
  I have taken off my shirt
  I am striking back
  the only way I know....
  I am losing all I had
  I'm letting go
  
  I wanna go
  I wanna go
  I wanna go...
  and get to bottom
  all alone
  
  I wanna go
  I wanna go
  I wanna go....
  and get to bottom
  all alone
  
  If I offered you a scaly thigh
  would you ride, or poke me in the eye
  I wanna know
  I wanna know
  I've gotta go
  I've gotta go
  get to bottom
  all alone
  
  
  When I go ,I wanna go
  inside a pine box
  no suit or makeup
  no need to wake up
  
  just as I was
  no Lord above
  no kilt, no haircut
  just as I was
  just as I was
  face against hard wood 

Kayak

I've got my dry bag,

my camera, my gun

I might shoot pictures,

might shoot someone.

leaves, they are turning

it's gotten cold

I've gotten bitter

I've gotten old.

grey in my beard now

grey skies, no sun..

I'm going no where..

kayak for one.

Seems like this winter

has come on to soon

I've moved my Kayak

right into my room

I sit down in it

take off my clothes

pretend I'm shooting

the rapids, free flow.

I've got my dry bag,

my camera, my gun

might shoot some pictures

might shoot someone

'lectrics been cut off,

tv's unplugged..

it's been a long time

since I've been loved.

I've got a problem

I've come undone

I'm tired of living..

kayak for one.

I sit down in it,

can't feel my toes.

have to admit it,

I can't be moved.

I throw my head back,

and close my eyes.

I'm sittin' pretty

I'm so alive.

Then when I come to

I feel the fool

I've gotten nowhere..

still the same room

.

I've got a dry bag,

my camera, my gun

might shoot some pictures

            might shoot someone

Fertile, Lies Her Blues

Invite your sweet-ass over

If you like your tea with teeth

I had my stomach pumped last night

Bring more than food to eat

Invite your sister over too

The one with wishbone legs

I’ll let her join our fantasy

But only if she begs

& don’t you fear, she’ll take your place

There’s no place to be taken

You’ll both be less than memories

The moment I awaken

For now, my mind is wondering

Why both of you’ve consented?

You’ve twice the skin

I’ve twice the scorn

& both need to be vented

You see, I’ve had my heart ripped out

& haven’t quite recovered

So both of yours can substitute

Until I find another

8

8 days left to find a life

Before the dreaded call

8 days to reinvent myself

8 million ways to fall

8 hours make a working day

Days I’ve seldom seen

8 beers, at least, have passed this bar

8 friends, who ask nothing

8 dollars are all I have left

8 thousand brought me here

8 seasons haven’t even passed

But I have aged 8 years

8 voices whisper in my ear

I don’t know, which to hear

8 bucks I’ll bet, that in 8 days

I’ll still be sitting here

Christmas List

All I want this Christmas

is a different place to hurt..

a different climate

to hug my primate

urge to roll in dirt.

a different feel..

a daylong hour,

where tiny spiders

in my shower

don't stare down at me

while I'm trying to get clean.

where repair,

just outside my door..

will stop

yelling at me.

All I want this Christmas

is a different place to hurt..

where the windows

don't reflect me

and the curtains

don't trash talk

Where the hallway

doesn't laugh at me

and the keyhole

sings the blues

where the floorboards

don't batter me

if the mattress

tossed my turn.

where the lighting

doesn't frame my shame

in shadows on the walls

and the photos

of my family

don't interrogate my soul

All I want this Christmas is

a different place to hurt

As I Should

Your face kept artists waiting

for a league of tortured time

Your grace stole words of beauty

From the strictest pantomime

Your shoulders rolled towards a neck

That held the greatest prize

Your wisdom, and your passion

Defined pleasure when combined

& you can’t see your charm, as others often do

You wear it silent, naturally, and with the greatest ease

It rubs off, as you toss your hair

It compliments each breeze

You radiate a love of life

Contagiously, ones pulled in

Your smile has a unique glow

That others warmly bathe in

& if I could die for you

I hope you know I would

But secretly, I wait for you

From a distance, as I should

Bastard Clown of Faith

A fanciful charmer
could pull rabbits from his ass

The bastard clown of faith
wasn't equal to the task

He could spit stars in his ashtray
& make golden streams in alleyways

but unlike the magician
his tricks were all too real.

The bastard clown of faith
could juggle nightmare's with one hand
He could saw a women clear in half
then make both pieces dance

& as a grand finale
he would freeze them in a trance
so they could serve as bookends
on a giant shelf he'd built.

& in-between , he'd lie at night
and cry from shame - from guilt.

His head would brush a bloodied strand
His toes would scrape her hip
He juggled nightmares with one hand
the other , traced her lips.

& each morning he thought he would
be forgiven his mistake

still he'd awake
soaked in her blood
the bastard clown of faith.

Old Elton John

You pick through your pockets
for something to chew
I'm shopping lazy
I'm black and I'm blue

You've got some books
and 9 toe rings too few

I think I might just love you.

I've got some albums
some old Elton John

If you want
we could spin them
and melt some crayons

If you want
we could listen
and touch lips til dawn

If you want
we could giggle
and sprawl on the lawn.

I have some gum
and some books
you might like.

I'm thinking maybe
we could be alright.
I'm thinking maybe
we'll be alright .

Boy Wonder

Long before the tent went down
I was my own boy wonder ..

I could vanish from suburbia ..
no hands, one unicycle.

I would clump on homemade stilts
sidewalk cracks, were rivers

kitty kats who climbed too high
would hop down on my shoulders.

I could take a pogo stick
and bounce myself
to heaven's gate

nice to see what won't await
when the tent comes down.

Some people made it clear to me
that wonder wasn't meant for me
just study the family tree
& put that silly tent away.

Long before the tent came down
I was my own boy wonder

I could spin a playground ball
into a whirl of color

I'd prepare ice cream stick boats
whenever I heard thunder
and launch them in the pouring rain
to race against each other

I would make the backyard tent
my home ,my world , my fortress
It was my green time machine
that took me anywhere I'd dream

But people made it clear to me
that wonder wasn't made for me
Just study the family tree
and put that silly tent away.

Long before the tent went down
I was full of wonder ......,

Joy

Joy was made of carousels

And felt like faded jeans

A natural pearl, free from its shell

She wore her name with ease

I’d known her since I first knew thought

She danced behind my eyes

Captured, without being caught

Of her, I fantasized

Each breath I drew was meant for you

Off you, I drank the morning dew

& now I only see in threes

Of you and me and ecstasy

Each glass I raise is in your name

A thousand toasts, yet you remain

As far away – as happiness

As close to home – as loneliness

Joy & me weren’t meant to be

yet she will haunt me endlessly

& when another takes her place

It’s Joy I’ll feel with each embrace

Mud Mask

I shaved away some face decay

I couldn’t shear the horns

I let them stay

My braille mistakes

To show I’m backwards born

I’m cleaning up for the Temple

Which surely is no more

Spit-polish me in a cesspool

Baptize me in toilet water

I’m cleaning up for the raccoon's

They glare at me

Through their furry masks

They stare through me.

I’m so tired of them.

Picking through garbage like them..

I’m so tired of them

Laughing at me.

So, dip me in sludge

Come and bathe me

Funnel mud in my mouth..

Tunnel gravy.

Come, cast my past

Come mudmask me

Come, baby , please

Come mudmask me

Blinders & Namesakes

A dying father told his son

To die more each day is heavenly

To feel each moment pass away

Words can not describe it

His life before meant nothing

The pieces, they did not fit

& now that they have found their place

A smile coats his dying face

The son, though grown, has yet to find

An outlet for his dreamy visions

His father dreamt in black & white

His father made decisions

& the cancer that dines on his brain

Paints his sleeping world with colors

The pictures make him wake in pain

He decides he won’t recover

He’s a man who thrives on normalcy

The blinders serve a purpose

He’s fantasized in secrecy

Of walking his sons footsteps

But could he tell that to his namesake?

The one that he gave life to

In color he sees his mistakes

The blinders, his son sees through

The son respects his father’s ways

But this too can’t be voiced

& as his father counts his days

His son, at last, has made a choice

In between each gasping breath, his father’s eyes, they shine

The loving son clasps a cold hand

& promises to be colorblind

& when his father breathes no more

That’s the last breath he will too take

& he will pray that they will meet

No blinders and no namesakes

Giants Who Weep

I tracked the tears of giants, in your living room

I bled the blood of tyrants, deep inside your womb

I came upon a soldier, who sat upon his tomb

I asked him if there’s room

I asked him, if he knew

I rode half a train of thought, to the other side

I rode a painted pony, until I stripped its hide

I found out that I twirled my hair, only when I lied

I asked myself for pride

I asked myself to die

I filled an empty basement, with my bitter, fragile tears

I’m facedown on the bottom, paralyzed with childish fears

I dream I’m floating towards the top, to gasp a breath of air

I wish this was not happening, I bow my head for prayer

Who are you to fill my head, with dreams I can’t relate to?

You never lifted me in life, you never let me know you

Who are you to fill my eyes, with tears that flow eternal?

With tears so rich in memory, each drop could fill a journal 

All I ask, for you to do, is dam this endless stream

& look away, so I can have one final, private dream

Where the only tears that know my name

Are ones of joy and wonder

Please let me leave this world of shame

While dreaming of another 

Breathe

A massive woodland oak tree

swallowed up a broke red barn,

then it toppled on the highway..

spat it out across the dawn.

I was walking, nature gawking

when I came upon 2 snakes...

One was brown and made of dirt,

One was red & made of clay.

they raced up both my pant legs,

and they criss-crossed up my back,

then they swirled into a thick rope..

and they tightened on my neck.

I thought I saw an oak tree

swallow up a broke down barn

then fall down on the highway

spitting colors on the dawn.

It must have been I'd passed out,

then awoken by a breeze.

across my neck

brown and red letters

spelled out the word

B-R-E-A-T-H-E.

I know I saw an oak tree

swallow up a broke red barn

& I know I felt new reasons

to try to stay alive.

I've Got the Knob

I've been steering clear of people

treating Pelicans like Seagulls.

face off floor, face on peephole..

my hand is on the knob.

I've been nervous, sippin' green tea,

chewed my thumb into a pinkie

claw my carpet, like a junkie,

like a tomcat dipped in cheese...

and all this on my knees.

I've been eating packing peanuts,

soak it up, styrofoam detox..

side effects may include brain clot

but thats alright with me

I've been ducking trick-or-treaters,

crushed up Certs and black tar dealers.

What the hells ..

that in my mirror?

thank God

I've got the knob

Train Song

Riblet Rob

had a dirty job

so he hopped a train

to the western plains


where he'd see coyotes

and lope through

beautiful days.


If he'd only gotten off that train

If he'd only jumped off that train.


Riblet Rob trained it...

without a train song in his brain

He slept on dusty planks

and whispered

til he went insane


"If I only get off this train...

If I'd only jump off this train "


It had only been 3 days

but he was crazy

in his cage

rolling,rattling

always battling

his thirst and all his rage


Riblet Rob

had a dirty job

so he hopped an outbound train

to any other place

where no one

knew his face


where he'd see coyotes

and lope through

beautiful days


If he'd only gotten off that train

If he'd only hopped off that train


Riblet Rob trained it...

without a train song in his brain

He slept on the dusty plank floor

and cried , til he went insane


If he had only gotten off that train

If he had only jumped off that train


Riblet Rob...

put a bullet

through his brain


While he heard

the click clack

of the wheels

on the track

he made a song

in his mind

Riblet Rob found

peace in the sound

of the train

against the ground


If he'd never got on the train

If he never jumped on that train

he'd have never heard

that train song

that took him

to his home


the coyotes

led the way

to a beautiful day.

Half a Block to go

“Hey Mister, why you walk so funny?”

This broke my concentrated stumbling

½ a block til I could drop

& count the hours til morning

I’ve often heard things in my head

that came from out of nowhere

Again “Hey, why you walk so funny?”

This voice was sounding clear

I raised my head, & pivoted, shakily

My eyes matched a tiny face to the muffled voice

The face was young, so young it shone

I faced innocent youth & could only fumble to conceal

The flask sticking from my worn coat jacket

The eyes, that were her face

Were waiting on an answer

I coughed up years, from rusted pipes

& rubbed my beard- in pretend thought

I was ripe to disappoint her

& I hoped I wouldn’t scare her

Before I said a single word

She moved to her next question

It’s one that I’ll take to my grave

“Why you smell like my daddy, when he hits me?”

I wondered if I was capable of tears

Now I knew I wasn’t

I’d cried myself dry, through the years

& my heart was so used to aching

But this pain cut through any known

& I reminded her of it

I was it

½ a block to go & I was facing

The child I’d always feared – could be my own

I searched my rotted soul for a reply

She was waiting still . . . . . .

But she had moved a few steps back

I said “Honey, don’t be afraid of me

I walk this way because I don’t see

The path as well as you do

I’ve been stepping up hills & against winds

For so long & I’m dizzy. . . . . most days

She looked at me – as children do

& seemed a bit confused

Not knowing what to do

& not able to run, I went on . . .

“ I think the smell comes from being different

Your dad & I don’t have the special gift you do

He’s only angry with himself

You should treasure your gift

Because you are very special”

I hoped I made a difference

I hoped I eased her mind

I tottered to find balance

To keep her safe, from harm

She turned her head,

Her eyes lit up

She’d seen a butterfly

& she was off, to follow it

& I began to cry

½ a block to go is all

Though it would seem 10 miles

I put my head down and walked on,

in steps, just like a child.