The color of quiet

I've been in the bar room
I've been on the train
I've sat cross-a-legged
on a porpoise
without reins

I've fallen
in the ocean
gulped salt water
to no end
then the colors
started coloring
the way
I would see things.

If you lie, I see red
if you chuckle, pinks the stink
if you blow on about your bizness
I see green come from your face

If you swear to Jesus Christmas
I see white from out your mouth
when you swear to fix the fixtures
apple brown comes spilling out

Every party
I don't go to
is the one.
I'd like to think
people talk , less 'bout themselves
around the kitchen sink
you've had your say
you've made your dress
you've yammered on..
Chartreuse.
grab a breath
grab a drink
the moon begs for some truth.

Colors flying everywhere
shut your face
shut your stares
colors I don't understand.
swept up in a dusting pan.

I only want the color of quiet.

I've been in the bar room
I've been on the train
I've sat cross-a-legged
on a porpoise
without reins

I've fallen
in the ocean
gulped salt water
to no end
then the colors
started coloring
the way
I would see things.

Firefighters, orange
Policemen , blue and gold
politicians & morticians
pea green, motel baseboard mold.

I've been to dinner parties
applaud each awkward pause
every time the small talk starts
I'm blinded by the fog.

I heard it from the fire escape
I smoked while they made their mistakes
I  couldn't see their colored breath
just mine and that was
black as death

I only want the color of quiet.

Every time I draw a breath
I think about the consequence
what color will the air come out?
don't do red, don't want more green
purple majesty, obscene
my wife, she cheats on me.
red colors when she speaks..

I've been in the bar room
I've been on the train
I've sat cross-a-legged
on a porpoise
without reins

I've fallen
in the ocean
gulped salt water
to no end
then the colors
started coloring
the way
I would see things

when we met , rainbows bent
pastel breezes, swept the sea.
tumblesaults and somersaults
pinwheels held by parakeets

grass was green
dirt was brown
air was air
and just held sound.
then the spaces inbetween
any moving mouth and me
were colored
to my disbelief

I only want the color of quiet

I find out now
I found out of.
our house wasn't a home..
we'd laughed out blonde
we'd gasped out rust
my back
mercurochrome.

I'd rather see the quiet of color.

I've been in the bar room
I've been on the train
I've sat cross-a-legged
on a porpoise
without reins

I've fallen
in the ocean
gulped salt water
to no end
then the colors
started coloring
the way
I would see things

funny thing is, I believe
red flags , red bugs
who bother me
I accept my gray discovery
golden wife
who cheats on me.

what color's that , what diplomat
would call for table talk?
I don't do dinner, chit fuck chat
no sidewalk hearts
drawn in chalk
no initials
carved in trees.

I only want the color of quiet.

I've been in the bar room
I've been on the train
I've sat cross-a-legged
on a porpoise
without reins

I've fallen
in the ocean
gulped salt water
to no end
then the colors
started coloring
the way
I would see things

Velcro Shoes

1st the pinky finger , then the ring finger
3rd the f u finger
twitching
like a bathtub toy sharks tail
tapping palm
like tapping on a telegraphers pad
"wars broke out , send the troops,
  Shoshone's have gone mad"
curled up as if fisticuffs
were only for half hands.

I walked and shook my arm around
jazz hand up , jazz hand down
easy fix, just press it hard
against the harder ground.
still the shake
still the claw
still the Oster arm
was blending onion soup mix
into sour cream dip chip dip
if only it were this.

Shaking went on all the day
found a pulse, and found a way
to wait til it would go away
if only it were this.

It wasn't all that long ago
I used to walk and steps got slow
same sidewalk , same stride
same  flow
hard to explain . feet couldn't go.
I'd stand outside a door and wait
I felt my shins evaporate
body weight shifted down
legs were stuck in Quicksand Town
if only it were this.

I used to lay me down at night
tremor , tremble , getting right
pick the futon off the floor
toss it hard against the wall
go to work , make work work
again, again, again.
walking , tracking quicksand
swiping shins, that weren't there..
2 fingers ,pretend gun at head
3 others quivered "go ahead"

1 hand in my pocket
2 feet stuck in  ground
3 witches double boiled plus trouble
4 little piggy's, they had none
5 good right hand fingers
6 stringed guitar , can't hold
7 deadly sins a week
8 days a night, I lo-ah-lo-ah love you
9 cat o whips and black leather
makes 10 the time to recline.

It was probably 2005
I showered mostly lying down
I found a crack in party town
I stepped all the way in it.

I remember , not remembering
the right tense of a sentence
the words I used to use with ease
erased from my retention

I'd stand outside Moonshadows bar
toes in the right direction
try to move my dumb ass home
legs froze in time suspension
couldn't get my legs to move
only a phantom feeling
strangest shit I ever felt
until it kept on happening.
got used to getting used to it.
got used to walking stranded
in the same spot
desperate to not
be found out
for a failure.

1st the pinky finger , then the ring finger
3rd the f u finger
twitching
like a bathtub toy sharks tail
tapping palm
like tapping on a telegraphers pad
"wars broke out , send the troops,
  Shoshone's have gone mad"
curled up as if fisticuffs
were only for half hands.

T.B.C.

Burros

rain rains on butterflies
rain rains on sparrows
rain rains on lonely men ..
messed for tomorrow

rain finds its way inside
each devilish sorrow..
it's a wipe-away
like sneezing
for a shaker-peppered burro.
delightful
long lasting
each shudder down the snout
is met with hind legs kicking..
and thunder all about.

rain rains on everything
those in and those devout
rain rains on sandwiches
that haven't found the mouth

It's the burro
always thinking
what's that plinking
and plinking?
it's the burro
who's got it
figured out

rain rains on hogweed
rain rains on gypsies
rain rains on lonely men
dressed for tomorrow

rain knows just where to go
drip a chin
drop a toe
wind a way to way below
and sit

tongue out
legs stout
on the burro.
open wide and let it slide
the greenflies
are all gone.
simple
satisfied
in the rain
out of sides

rain rains on chivalry
rain rains on vice
rain rains on cowardice
rain rains on might

burro wet with slick
burro slick with wet
burros simply satisfied
burro no regrets

rain falls on a lonely man
who may not know his place
rain rains on everyone
rain falls on his face.

Hummingbirds

I've been waiting on the hummingbirds
sitting on a cactus
mouthing words,
to the blue jays
and the world absurd
just waiting on the hummingbirds

 bizz and buzz and swirl

I held rubbers on red fingertips
I shook them to the sky in fits
mouthing words
and taking sips
to the world absurd
just waiting on the hummingbirds
to fly from Argentine

Are you gonna make the scene
or keep me wondering?
are you gonna dip and dart

catastrophe
 rhapsody
behind  the flutter flap

Are you gonna hover here
zig a zag
when I come near
turn the air
into a ballroomwhile I watch?

Tantalize and stir the sky

like a lifetime multiplied

dusky moments

colorized

ballerinas 

I'm waiting for the hummingbirds
I'm crimson , carved at cap
I'm up the tree
that spoke to me
and asked me to come up.
I'm waiting on the hummingbirds
my mouth is full of blood
I'm bath for you
I'm trash for you
I'm waiting , as I do.
Are you gonna hover near
zig a zag
I'm waiting here
make the air..
into a ballroom
while I watch?
I'm fading dear
I'm losing years
they're dripping down the tree
I'm waiting for the hummingbirds
to finally
see me.
I'm waiting for the hummingbirds

flying by

humming tamps the noises down

humming keeps the crowds at large

humming puts the hum

into the drum

ho hum ho hum ho hum..

to finally see me.

I’m waiting for the hummingbirds

They’ll dance

dizzy the tree

they’ll wake the air

from apathy

wing my dead face

of the fleas

I’m waiting on the hummingbirds

I’m waiting to be seen

I’m waiting on the hummingbirds

I’m waiting to be free.

Eels

my grandpa set his watch on railroad time..
he dozed and spilled his pipe
on the New York Times.
when he woke
he choked and choked..
in time with the Brooklyn line..
by the time
the train had passed
he was gone.
and the eels in the Sound
kept swimming on.

Eels are snaky creatures
they slither and they snake
they make an old man
grab a hold
make a grandson shake

Eels are slick & slimy
they wriggle , no mistake
they make an old man
use both hands
a grandson
shifts his weight

what's a 50 pounder to
a set of ancient knees
what's a look over the side
if he's trying to see ...
the struggle and the battle
of his hero
and an eel.

my lurch , his launch
his splash, my birth.
is what saved both of us
I pulled him in
swore to make peace
as he swore fisherman.

The Sound was silent
the eel was free.
flowing blood
both our knees

He laughed and gave my hair a toss
he gathered me
to be.
motor boat
headed home
smiling like the sea.

He asked me if I loved my mom.
he told me I should tell her.
he asked me to not smoke
the "pot" or drink myself
to ruin.

there's an eel that got away..
Long Island Sound
that summer day.
there's an eel
that's got a feel
for come what may...

maybe he squiggled home
told his kids he loved them
even though
they worked his only nerve
like it wasn't curved on curves

He smelled out his wife..
and spiraled her
snaked a kiss
reminded her
that he was lucky
to be green
watering the waterway ....

tightening the tightening
he hugged her close
and said he'd be
a father to her sons
a father to her girls
a father
to all needs.

I still wrangle with the ruin thing,
I don't smoke the "pot"
or do heroin
I love my mom
and my dad too
they know that
cause I show that
I'm trying to not rock the boat
no more.

My grandpa set his watch on railroad time..
he dozed and spilled his pipe
on the New York Times.
when he woke
he choked and choked..
in time with the Brooklyn line..
by the time
the train had passed
he was gone.
and the eels in the Sound
swam on.